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Introduction
Just be yourself. What good is that advice if you're an asshole? I'm not here to tell you to be a fake. There's a lot more in life waiting to happen when you learn to be a genuinely good, extroverted person. I spent my life being a skinny nerd in front of the computer, but I've learned to overcome a lot of the social stumbling blocks. Sometimes it takes doing something crazy that no one expects to fill in those missing pieces. It's different for everybody, whether it's martial arts, skydiving or collecting pottery, until you take that plunge head first into it you'll never know. I still advocate to people that they pay someone to beat them up. Some people scoff at that advice, they are the most in need of a good ass beating.
The Hype
Rock stars are forced to adapt to the spotlight because they are always in front of cameras and people. The game industry's rock stars are artists, programmer and designers sitting behind computers while useless producers and PR hype-men take all the the rock star credit. This works against the real talent in two ways. It keeps us out of the spotlight opportunities for chances to be more social, and it feeds a growing negative attitude because the people that know what's going on aren't the ones talking. It's time real developers step out of this funk and have your rock star skills shine outward.
Get Yourself Together
If you want to be it, live it! Let's face it, a lot of developers fashion sense parallels the homeless. Get out to clubs, flip through fashion magazines, whatever inspiration grabs your attention. Start simple, slowly fill out this new wardrobe with one nice shirt, shoes and pants from the clearance rack. If it works out, keep expanding from there. If you've got time in advance for a social event, get a haircut and your teeth cleaned at the dentist. This is hygiene, and it's normal. Start sitting up in your chair you hunchback freak. Find some sort of physical activity outside of work that you enjoy such as basketball, lifting weights or simply taking a walk. Either way, balance out the sitting in a chair all day turning your body into a lump.
Charisma Helps Too
What do these men have in common?
Beside being successful at what they do, they maintain a great smile, and a positive charisma that generally makes them likable. While these three example are obvious, if you look to anyone with good charisma you will notice many of the same traits stand out. Be inspired by these people and learn from them.
Interacting with people is the key to social networking. Shake their hand and introduce yourself. Memorizing names isn't easy so always reintroduce yourself when you see someone again until well acquainted. A good technique for remembering names is to say it back a few times in conversation, and lead out of the conversation by introduce them to someone else.
Introduce yourself to everyone. In a large social gathering this isn't expected, but in smaller groups people will notice. Even if you don't mean to, not introducing yourself can people can send the wrong message.
Indulge people when talking to them. There's a good chance they'll return the favor. Be the Humble Boaster. If you have to go around telling people how great you are, you're probably not. Lead your conversations properly you will be given an opportunity to outline a few of your successes. Talent speaks for itself.
Stifling Persona to Avoid
Negative Nancy
Never has anything good to say? Most would argue it's this scathing attitude is the only thing that makes them happy. Either way, they're a real pain in the ass to be around, and that's why they aren't out doing business. A little tact, and focusing on things they like can really turn it around for these types.
Gossip
This will come back to haunt you. This can be very destructive due to people taking things out of context, and you never know who's listening. Some people only hear what they want to hear, and others are tattletales. These informers on another level of career destroying gossip because people remember them more than the goof-ball that made an offhand comment.
The Two-Face
Some folks like having a good time, but as soon as one word crosses their imaginary line of morality they turn into Mr. Hyde because they are an authoritative figure or think they are. You Trying to be these two people puts others off. No one wants to walk on egg shells around anyone so they aren't going to invite you to the party, and by party, I mean your future. Take it easy, laugh it off or excuse yourself.
Closing Words
Attitude change doesn't happen overnight. It could be the company you keep, the food you eat or the simple fact that you're a jerk. Either way, if you want to keep moving forward by getting to know the people you need to know, try putting on a smile and some clean clothes. Repugnant and pleasant are two different words. Which one do people use to describe you?
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Seriously, you.
You don't need leather pants, or do you?
a few push-up wouldn't hurt either.
"I should be leading this team!"
Not represented in this image: you.
Not just a comic book character.
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